The Secret Power of Love and Letting Go.

It seems to be a law of the universe that the most important and powerful truths also tend to be the most elusive. It's as if the more valuable they are, the harder they are to apprehend. Unlike our culture's endless stream of banal commentary, they don't give up their wisdom easily...or quickly. So often, they require that we face deep struggle and profound suffering. At times, it can feel as though they demand that we be dragged to the very edge of despair before they will reveal their secrets and yield their clarity and understanding. Admittedly, it can feel a bit unfair and more than a little sadistic.

But, unlike the on-tap drivel that oozes from a million podcasts and propaganda mills, these are truths that speak to the very center of our souls as human beings and apprentices of Jesus. They are the keys that unlock revolutionary change in the deepest parts of us. They hold the power to turn a promise from mere theoretical words on a page into an experiential reality. When finally grasped, they hold the power to alter who we are and forever change how we see ourselves, others, and especially God.

Faith is one of those truths. So is Hope. But it's true of nothing more than the concept of Love.

Tragically, so many of these truths get buried beneath familiarity's contempt and millennia of misunderstanding. For, in yet another ironic twist, by seeking to lay hold of a truth by force of will and mental assent, it's possible to bury them more deeply and further from reach.

Love, especially, is like that.

Because the bald truth is that we fundamentally misunderstand Love, particularly the essence of Love as presented in the New Testament's use of the Greek word agape/agapeo.

For context, agapeo is the word used to describe God's love in John 3:16, "For God so agapeo'd the world that he gave his one and only Son..."

It's the word used to signify, above all else, the quality of character that is to mark out the life of disciples, both individually and collectively. Jesus said, "...by this, all men will know that you are my disciples because you agapeo one another."

And ultimately, it's the word John the Apostle chose to summarize God's essence in 1 John 4:8. He simply says, "God is agape"

It's not hyperbole to say that love is literally the theme of the faith. Agape is used over 100 times and appears in 26 of the 27 books that make up the New Testament.

Due to our cultural conditioning, however, we often read the English word love, and automatically presume it means "to have warm feelings toward." But we'd be wrong. Deeply, profoundly wrong, actually. And, as it turns out, that is a very serious problem.

In the New Testament, agape is presented as an unconditional, sacrificial, and covenantal love that prioritizes the good and well-being of others. Rather than a fluid, warm emotion, it is an intentional act of the divine or human will rooted in moral decision and holy character.

Agape is defined by its overall orientation toward self and others, and ultimately, by what it does.

It was demonstrated with profound human import in Jesus washing his disciples' feet, just hours before they betrayed and abandoned him, and it reached its ultimate expression on the cross, where Christ, in an act of complete selflessness, laid down His life for the sake of humanity. And not only to pay our sin debt, but to demonstrate in no uncertain terms what agape in its most concentrated form looks like.

It is this character and quality of love that Jesus and the New Testament writers explicitly call us back to as Jesus' followers. Philippians 2 is just one succinct, yet powerful example:

3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

6 who, being in very nature[a] God,

did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;

7 rather, he made himself nothing

by taking the very nature of a servant,

being made in human likeness.

8 And being found in appearance as a man,

he humbled himself

by becoming obedient to death –

even death on a cross!

This passage presents a defining image of the God-and-others-referenced nature of agape. We, however, at the very foundation of our beings, are by nature not God-and-others-referenced.

We are naturally, subconsciously, and profoundly self-referenced.

I

Me

My

Mine

If we reflect on our unguarded conversations, social media posts, or personal perspectives, we are faced with this glaring and unflattering truth: WE are our natural point of reference. We are the lends through which we see and judge the world, others, and even God (i.e. "God, why did you let this happen to ME??)

And contrary to all we hear from our culture and Sunday morning sermons, that is the seat of sin in the core of humanity.

Not greed, not lust, not deceit, not hate, not abuse, for all those things - and so many more besides - spring from the singular place within us that says...ME!

Is the epitome of our unlikeness to God, who, after all, is agape. It is this force, this point of reference within us, that Jesus directly addressed again and again when he admonished his first followers to "deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow me." It is this dynamic that other New Testament writers return to over and over, insisting, "put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your sinful nature", and "...let all that you do be done with love."

So when we take the call to Christian transformation seriously, and determine to align with God's intent to make us like Jesus, THIS is where his work will always be centered. In very real, tangible, and gut-wrenchingly practical ways, the very essence of biblical love is to simply learn to LET GO. In a million ways, both big and seemingly insignificant, it's about learning to recognize this force and to say "no, NOT me" to the clamoring voice within that, quite automatically and subconsciously, whispers, "Me, My, Mine."

It seems counterintuitive to our natural inclinations (and it is), but when we rip ourselves free of self-reference, and - maybe for the first time - become God-and-others referenced, something quite amazing happens. Jesus' spirit within, who is always seeking expression and gentle control over our inner being, begins to work out the dynamics of agape and to produce the fruit of the Spirit. Things like joy, patience, peace, and kindness begin to quietly take root, along with a settled sense that God can be trusted with our lives, not just in the big things, but in the little things of which our days are made. We learn that he can be trusted with our sense of identity. He can be trusted with what others think and feel about us. He can be trusted with our need to feel valuable or worthy. He can be trusted because he loves us so completely. When we YIELD our self-reference and give him his rightful place, the character of Jesus starts to become real in the deepest parts of us.

So, what if we learned to let go?

In the big moments and the small, with strangers, and most especially with those with whom we do life, what if we learned how to say from the center of our being:

"I don't have to be right."

"I don't have to be first."

"I don't have to be noticed."

"I don't have to insert my opinion."

"I don't have to be celebrated."

"I don't have to have my way."

What freedom and victory might that bring? What if every self-identified believer-in-Jesus chose his path? What would that look like? What might that change?

What if we learned to let go?